Thursday, February 26, 2004

SJ-R.COM - Must it be marriage?

Hang on, I'm going to rant and go all over the place on this one. Subjects will stop, start, and stop again based purely on my whim. I will not adhere to my ideal standard of "one talking point per paragraph or two." I'm just going to jump from place to place.

Even in Springfield, gay marriage is a subject that needs to be addressed. While I want to see gays get full rights and recognition in civil marriages, I'm still against all this civil-disobedience garbage that they're pushing in San Francisco. If folks did it just to piss off the President and the Republican Party, I hope the folks who entred into marriages for that reason have their feelings hurt when those marriages are recognized as invalid. For those who married for love, cool. While I'm at it, someone please smack Rosie O'Donnell just on general principle. All these people to ask about gay marriage, and you had to ask HER about it? Ye gods, find someone who will be a little less militant for the camera, why don't you?

The only problem I see with "civil unions" is that it differentiates between gay and straight couples. It's a lot like opposite-sex domestic partnerships: what's the bloody point? You want to pay more on your taxes just because you don't want to be married, but you still want to legally have sex with your partner? Jeez, just get married and be done with it.

While I'm at it, "civil union" just sounds so bureaucratic and undesirable. "Marriage" is a word that should be reserved for people who want that lifelong trip and will work out their married-life issues without resorting to violence, neglect and ignoring the other. "Civil union" sounds like you wound up in a bad part of the European Parliament.

It's like this: "We got married!" "Awesome! Congratulations!"

Versus this: "We entered into a civil union." "Oh. Were you taxed upon arrival? That's how they do it in that part of Maastricht, you know."

See? Another reason for gay marriage. Gays won't sound like they went through some kind of messed-up European bureaucratic taxtation procedure.

This brings me to the Federal Marriage Amendment. This is President Bush being a father to the country and saying "If I hear you kids playing up there when you should be sleeping, I'm coing right up those stairs! Then you'll be in for it!" Guess what? Thanks to a bunch of Bush-haters jumping the gun and a moron with the last name of Newsom trying be BOLD and BRASH and "Oh, Republicans would NEVER do this! Thus, I'm morally superior!" now the homosexual community is going to get grounded. Thanks a lot, guys. Now the best that the homosexual community can hope for is civil unions if this amendment passes. If you'd have gone through your state legislatures in the first place, this wouldn't have happened. Now look what's coming down the pike. Get your crash helmets, kids, and brace for impact.

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